Radiant Balance
by DynamicBreeze
Summary: After returning to Two Rivers, Dawn Star struggles to find balance while worrying about changes in her oldest friend


**Radiant Balance**

If Weng Shu noticed her foul mood, he didn't say anything. Dawn Star was helping him prepare the Festival of Lilies, getting Two Rivers ready for the festivities. Weng Shu had been a real blessing for the ailing town. When Dawn Star had returned to honor her friends the few surviving villagers had been struggling to rebuild, and it hadn't been until Weng Shu arrived that things had really turned around. When the successful and level-headed farmer had decided to relocate to Two Rivers, it had been a real signal to the people of the surrounding area that the rebuilding was a project worth taking on. In the absence of Gujin and all the others who'd been lost, old Weng Shu emerged as the leader they needed to get everyone to pull together. He saw potential in Two Rivers and the surrounding area, and had convinced others to move in and believe as well. Dawn Star liked him a great deal. He ran things fairly and efficiently, and he knew the value of kindness as well. Truth be told he'd had a say in Dawn Star staying as well. With so many gone, she hadn't really had that much of a connection to this place anymore, or to anywhere truthfully. Weng Shu had been adamant that Two Rivers needed someone like her, and he'd convinced her to rebuild the school. She liked feeling needed.

They were setting up decorations in the town square, Weng Shu hammering as he built a stall while Dawn Star draped long, decorative ribbons across the stalls they'd already set up and between buildings on either side of the square. They were yellow, like the lilies that were the festival's namesake. Dawn Star had tasked her younger students with going to the lake and gathering lilies, and they now decorated the stalls that would be used for the festivities tonight.

"You have a real eye for beauty," Weng Shu said.

Dawn Star looked at him. "My wife would have been the one to help with pretty-ing things up in the old days, but-" He shrugged. "She always said I was a practical man, not a creative one." He smiled. "You must miss her," Dawn Star said.. "More than you know," Weng Shu said quietly.

"At least she'll rest easily now," she said, and instantly cursed herself. It was that kind of gloomy talk that had made her such an outsider when she was younger. That, and the distrust her connection with spirits fostered. They worked in silence for a while.

"Say," Weng Shu said, "where's your friend, Ling?" Dawn Star's mood darkened. "I don't know," she said. "You don't know?" he repeated with a skeptical twitch of his eye. "Why? What's so weird about that?" "Uh, Ehm, nothing I suppose," the old man grumbled. Dawn Star realized she'd snapped at him. This kind old man. _What is wrong with me? _she wondered. She was completely out of balance. She felt like did everything have to be so hard?

"Look, I may be an old man, but even I can tell there's a cloud over your head," Weng Shu said kindly. "Don't worry so much about the small things. Treasure the good things in your life while you have them." Dawn Star looked at the old man, amazed at his sudden spark of wisdom. She nodded, a newfound resolve in her heart. "I will." She vowed to find Ling once she was done putting up the decorations.

The gentle stirring of the breeze caressed the leaves of the sunlit garden and warmed Scholar Ling's skin. There was a hazy aromatic fragrance in the air brought about by the blossoming of the spring flowers. The quiet puttering sound of the passing stream brought calm to her mind, and in the distance she could hear the gentle tip of small feet as children played in the garden. The sound of laughter as they chased each other brought a smile to Ling's face. Eyes closed and legs crossed, she was sitting by the stream in a shaded part of the garden.

"I thought I might find you here." The voice was melodic, its sounds rounded and pleasing to the ear. It brought warmth to Ling's heart. She opened her eyes to see her friend Dawn Star watching her from across the stream. She was dressed in flowing silks, red, as was her custom. Her long dark hair was pulled back into a ponytail that hung across her shoulder. Ling found she looked more and more mature, a real woman in ways Ling thought she herself really wasn't.

"What comes, my friend?" Ling said. Dawn Star gave her a warm smile as she stepped lightly across the stream to Ling's side. "I'm glad to see you still enjoy spending time in my garden," she said. "It's very beautiful," Ling said earnestly.

"Oh no," Dawn Star waved her away, embarrassed.

"I didn't mean it like that! I wasn't fishing for compliments." She looked away bashfully. "Though I appreciate it nonetheless." She trailed off. "Anyway," she said, perking up, "I came to see how you were doing. You've been very...contemplative lately." Ling gave a tired smile. "It's not very like me,

is it?" Dawn star giggled. "No," she said, "it certainly isn't!" Her laughing fit ended but the corners of her lips remained smiling. She held out her hand for Ling. "Come," she said, her voice turned soft and gentle. "Let's leave all this heaviness behind us and do something fun for once. No spirits, or ghosts, or restless dead."

Ling looked up at her friend. She'd become so reliable. It always used to be her who had to cheer Dawn Star up when she was upset and withdrew to brood in her garden. She accepted her friend's hand and let Dawn Star pull her up to her feet. As she did, Dawn Star lost her balance and they stumbled into each other, bumping heads. "Ouch." They looked at each other in confusion for a moment, then at the same they both started laughing. A few moments into her laughing fit, Ling realized she was still holding Dawn Star's hand. At the same time, Dawn Star had gripped Ling's shoulder for balance. As a result, they were very close to one another. From this distance, Ling could see the pores on her friend's skin. Dawn Star was still laughing, joy radiating from her face. She wiped her eyes, coming down from the last of her giggles. "Where should we go?" Ling asked. There was a twinkle in Dawn Star's eye."I'll surprise you," she said. Whirling around, she tightened her grip on Ling's hand and dragged her after her through the sun-bathed garden.

"You know, Master Gujin always said bumping heads was good luck," Ling said as she followed behind her friend. "Master Gujin said a lot of things," Dawn Star smiled. She was leading Ling through the rebuilt village, past the beach and into the forest. Leaving the bright sun behind they stepped into the shade of a bamboo thicket. Noticing Dawn Star's silence, Ling squeezed her hand. "I miss them too." Dawn Star looked back at her. "I know. I know you do. I didn't mean to-" For a moment it looked like she was going to cry. Dawn Star looked down at the ground, took a deep breath, then looked back up at Ling. When she did, Ling could tell she had recovered. There was steel in her eyes, and in a way it made Ling a bit said. She wanted to tell her that it was alright, that she didn't always have to be strong. Dawn Star didn't have to prove anything to Ling. But she didn't know how to express those feelings, and she didn't want to offend Dawn Star, so Ling kept quiet. Dawn Star was sweet and caring but she was also prideful of her strength and independence. Ling didn't want to infringe on that.

"What is it?" Dawn Star asked. "You looked thoughtful." "Oh," Ling said, biting her lip, "It' nothing. Just thinking." Dawn Star looked unconvinced, but let the point rest. They resumed their journey through the bamboo forest, stepping over broken canes and ducking beneath the overgrowth. Finally they reached a clearing and the sight that met them took Ling's breath away. Deep into the forest was a river that ran through the underbrush and came down a rock face to create a small but dazzling waterfall. Bathed in sunlight breaking through the clearing it created a small shimmering rainbow. The pool below was clear and inviting.

"It's beautiful," Ling breathed awestruck. Dawn Star released her hand to walk to the edge of the pool. "I discovered it when I came back to Two Rivers a few months ago. I was walking through the forest on my own when I stumbled across it." She was standing with her back to Ling. They way she spoke her words had the air of an confession.

"I took it as a sign there was still beauty to be found here. I spent a lot of time here on my own before you came back." She turned to face Ling again. "It was a private place for me, so I was hesitant to show it to anyone. I would never share it with anyone except you." Ling stepped forward to stand beside her at the pool's edge. Dawn Star looked at her. "Tell me," she said, "what were you thinking about before?" "It really was nothing." Dawn Star gave Ling a look that told her that she knew better. Ling just shrugged lamely. Then Dawn Star surprised her. She put her arm around Ling's neck and pulled her into a gentle embrace. She rested her head on Ling's shoulder as she spoke. "I know how much you've suffered. I want you to know I'm here for you, like you've always been for me. You can talk to me." Ling felt dumbstruck and heart-warmed in equal measure. She didn't know what to say, or do, in a situation like this. Her arms hung lamely at her sides while Dawn Star held her.

After what might have been a minute Dawn Star pulled back. Ling felt the warmth from where Dawn Star's body had been imprinted against hers, and she already missed it. Dawn Star looked up at Ling with watery eyes, searching her face for a reaction. Ling looked into those lovely brown eyes and found them so filled with warmth and emotion that she shied away from them. She didn't know what to say.. And she knew it hurt Dawn Star. This woman had shown her a secret place, she had opened her heart to her, and Ling had nothing to give her in return. "D-do you want to swim?" Dawn Star said with forced cheerfulness, turning away and hiding her face. Ling felt awful. "Dawn, Star I-," The other woman suddenly whirled on her.

"I KNOW there's something wrong, Ling! And it hurts that you won't share it with me!" Ling's breath hitched. She felt all her tranquility drain away.

"Don't you trust me?" the girl in red asked, her eyes rimming with unspilt tears. She advanced on Ling, finger leveled accusingly at her. "You're quiet, you're distant. You haven't been the same since you came back." She stopped right in front of her.

"You're drifting away from me," she said imploringly, "and without you I really am all alone." With that she turned away and ran off, a repressed sob escaping her before she disappeared into the bamboo forest. Ling was left behind alone, staring blankly at her reflection in the pool for a long, long time. The steady rush of the waterfall was the only sound that penetrated her awareness.

The Festival the Lilies was lovely, full of life and full of laughter, yet it held no appeal for Dawn Star. Children were rushing to and fro, villagers were raucously sharing drinks and stories and she felt utterly alone. The village was illuminated by the soft orange glow of the lanterns she and Weng Shu had put up earlier in the day, but Dawn Star had withdrawn to the darkness at the edge of town. She could see the stars more clearly there, and she had her privacy. Wandering the beach, listening to the sound of the waves, she felt drawn back to the bamboo grove. Entering the darkness of the forest, she felt no fear. What was there to fear after all? She'd faced ghosts, spirits and even the secrets of her own past in her travels. What horrors could a dark forest possibly hold for her? The irony was that even though the world was finally in balance, she, Dawn Star, was not. And she'd let that frustration lead her to lash out at her oldest, truest friend. It hadn't been fair to Ling. And she hadn't even been able to express what was really scaring her. She must have seemed so foolish. But Ling really had changed, and it not for the better. It wasn't peace or tranquility she sensed in her friend. It was emptiness. Nobody else could tell, but she could. Nobody had known Ling like her. Her experiences, the things she'd suffered saving the Jade Empire hadn't turned her into some wizened sage. It had sucked the life, the joy out of her. Ling was dark inside, and that was the kind of darkness that frightened Dawn Star. There was a sadness in her heart that maybe even Ling herself didn't know was there. Dawn Star just wanted to help her. To make her realize that there was someone who understood. That she wasn't alone. "Like you did for me," she whispered into the night. If she found Ling know, she felt she could tell her, could express everything she wanted into words and reach her. Ahead of her, she could see the night sky through a break in the darkness. Dawn Star had reached the grove.

Ling let the water soak her clean as it rushed over her. Standing naked beneath the waterfall, she felt at one with nature, connected through the smooth stone beneath her feet, through the droplets of water running down her bare skin. She hugged her shoulders and craned back her neck, letting the water pass down the smooth curve of her back. She was part of the flow. At one with nature, at one with herself. She was in balance. Ling opened her eyes. Dawn Star was there.

Not really of course, but Ling could see her in her mind's eye. She wished she could join her here, beneath the waterfall, and understand the peace and calm she felt. Ling had pondered Dawn Star's words for a long time, and she felt she understood. Dawn Star thought Ling had changed, and she feared that change because she believed it would lead her away from Dawn Star. Ling had to make her understand what that change is inevitable, and to fear change would be to fear life. All she had to do to assuage Dawn Star's fears was to tell her that no matter what path Ling's life would take, Dawn Star would always have a place in her heart. The warmth and gentleness of her embrace still lingered in her thoughts. She would see her tonight, at the Festival of Lilies.

Dawn Star entered the grove, and thoughts flooded her mind. They were not her own. A spirit. She had not encountered a restless soul in months, and certainly never in the grove. The pool reflected the light of the stars, the waterfall shimmering in the moonlight. The rest was silence. Yet there was something here. An uneasiness crept up her spine. She assumed a fighting stance, a defensive posture. Images flashed into her mind, thoughts, feelings. They were fleeting glimpses, but there was a strange familiarity to them. It was imprint of a person, a soul that had left a mark here. An image flashed into her mind, clear as day. She saw...herself. She was standing beneath the waterfall, head tilted back. The water parted around her, and though it flowed around her, she remained dry. She was completely naked. The image so vivid, she could see every detail. Yet it felt removed from her at the same time, like a painting or a lucid dream. Was this a memory?

No, it couldn't be. She was outside herself. Then what was it? Suddenly another person appeared behind the Dawn Star in the waterfall. It was another woman. Dawn Star was shocked to see that she was also naked. The other woman approached Dawn Star from behind and put her arms around her chest. The other Dawn Star smiled and caressed the woman's arm, then turned around inside her embrace to face her.

Suddenly Dawn Star was inside the other Dawn Star, standing beneath the forked waterfall, naked but not wet, being held by this strange woman. Suddenly sensation kicked into her whole body. She could feel goosebumps on her naked skin, the soft warmth where the other woman's body pressed again her own. There was a burning sensation down below. This was no dream, these were things she'd never felt before. She looked into the other woman's face and saw it was Ling. Her beauty was stunning. Her lips were close enough to touch, her straight dark hair fell loosely down her the side of her face and tickled Dawn Star's nose.

"Wh-Where are we, Ling?" she managed weakly. Ling smiled enigmatically.

"Don't think, Dawn Star," she said, and put a hand on Dawn Star's breast, above her heart.

"Just feel."

When Dawn Star came back to herself she was laying on the mat in her own private chambers at the school. Sunlight was filtering through the cracks in the wall. It was morning. She sprang to her feet and slid open the door to the courtyard.

Outside, Kia Min and some of the senior students were sweeping the leaves and clearing the yard. Kia Min looked up at her, a look of mild surprise and amusement on her face when she saw Dawn Star was still wearing her nightdress. "Mistress Dawn Star. You're up late. Did you have a long night at the festival yesterday?" Dawn Star frowned at her. Festival? "That's right. The festival was yesterday. And then..," She froze. Then what? The images came back to her, but they made no sense. The grove, sensing a spirit, and then...and then she was back here.

"Where is Ling?" she asked, suddenly overcome with a profound sense of urgency. Kia looked a bit taken aback, but one of the senior students, a gangly boy with a toothy smile, piped up. "I saw her just before in the garden, Mistress Dawn Star."

"Can you fetch her for me? Tell me to meet me in my chambers?" The boy nodded eagerly. "Can do." He abandoned his rake and was off with speed matching a master martial artist. "Jhao Do is always looking for a way out of his chores. I'll be surprised if we see him back today," Kia Min said wryly. Dawn Star agreed absently. She spun on her heels and went back inside, sliding the door shut behind her. "Emperor be damned, do these people ever get arrogant when you put' em in charge," Kia Min noted, returning her attention to sweeping.

"I admire you so much," Dawn Star said. "I'm sorry about everything. I suppose I was just afraid of losing you." They were standing side by side in the privacy of Dawn Star's room, sunlight streaming through the open window and bathing them in a radiant, golden light.

"You never have to worry about that, Dawn Star. I'll always be here for you." Dawn Star smiled bashfully. She looked away, fidgeting. "That's so sweet of you to say. I...well, I have something more to say as well." She raised her gaze, meeting Ling's eyes. "The princess, Silk Fox, told me things about the court. She mentioned...affection between women. I-that is to say, well, it wasn't uncommon for ladies in the court to have female companions that shared with them poetry, and art and...other things. Beauty is beauty regardless of gender."

She looked shyly at Ling. "I find you beautiful," she said. In a small, hopeful voice, she added, "Do you find me beautiful?" Ling took in her friend's red lips, her delicate nose, her long dark hair and supple, heavenly body. She knew and loved every spot on her face, every part of her being.

"I love you," she said. Dawn Star seemed dumbstruck at first.

Then she pounced on Ling, throwing her arms around her and pushing her back toward the wall as she pressed her face against her's and their lips met for the very first time. Dawn Star ran her hands over Ling's body, cupping her breasts as she sought entrance with her tongue.

Ling allowed her inside. "I'm yours," she whispered in between kisses. Dawn Star responded with renewed fervor. She broke her relentless flurry to gaze into Ling's eyes.

Tears of happiness were streaking down her flushed face. "I was always yours," Dawn Star said sweetly. Ling held her cheek and kissed her deeply. _I love you._

_I love you_

_The moon is beautiful isn't it?_


End file.
